When my junior college years ended in 2009, many of my peers were working towards an overseas education. Some were capable enough to aim for prestigious institutions such as Harvard, Oxford and Cambridge while others were satisfied with just being able to study overseas. I, on the other hand, never wanted an overseas tertiary education. My ideal plan in life was to enter the Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine and study hard to become a doctor.
Of course, with life’s unpredictability, I found myself holding a rejection letter from the Yong Loo Lin School of Medicine after I came home from a tough week of training in the military. Devastated, I clearly remember my hands trembling as I crushed the letter in disappointment and discarded it into the bin. Having met all the academic and extracurricular criteria for the course, I was baffled by the medical school’s decision. Was I really a misfit for medicine?
Thankfully, my parents were encouraging and pushed me to pursue my medical studies overseas. After taking multiple entrance exams and applying for schools in the UK and Australia, I picked the University of Glasgow Wolfson Medical School as the place to commence my undergraduate studies.
As I waved goodbye to my family and friends almost exactly a year ago on September 1, 2012, I felt a mix of excitement and fear coursing through my veins. I was finally on a journey to pursue my dreams. At the same time, when I looked out of the window on flight BA 12 and saw the shimmering lights of skyscrapers down below, I was reminded that I would be more than 3,000 miles away from home for the next five years.
Fear
Even for a 21-year-old male who has undergone harsh training in Officer Cadet School (OCS), establishing a life from scratch in Glasgow was tough. There was a palpable fear of living in a new environment. For the first time, I was surrounded by people who were not ethnically Chinese. The harshness of reality struck the moment I flagged down a taxi at the Glasgow International Airport. I had to slow down my speech and enunciate every single word properly as the driver did not understand where I wanted to go. Though we both spoke English, the stark difference in our accents made it seem like we had learnt completely different languages.
Though the fear was more acute in the first few months, it never really dissipated. In fact, it merely transformed. The anxiety over learning the nuances of local accents soon changed to worry about making new friends and fitting in. Most Glaswegians did not even know where Singapore is located. Some thought it is part of China, while others thought it is part of the United Arab Emirates (UAE) due to the hot and humid climate Singapore is renowned for. My conversations with them were limited to topics such as the weather and which lessons we were headed towards next. Though conversations could flow, they seemed to lack an element of connection. Being brought up in Singapore, I missed comfortable conversations about new food hangouts and gossip about people I know.
I felt like a fish out of water.
Of course, the fear that accentuated all other fears was that life back home was going on without me. As I stalked my friends on Facebook back in Singapore, I started having this sinking feeling that my friends back at home were having a more exciting college life than me. Every smile I saw in their photos reminded me of the new friends they were meeting and how I might be pushed to the back of their memories someday. Being a medical student did not help as I was spending more time in the library than any other place in Glasgow.
People were growing up and changing back at home. Once taking photos while sipping frappuccinos in cafes, my friends were now posing with alcoholic drinks in fancy Singaporean clubs. Some picked up smoking, while others started posing with their luxurious cars. From normal students to socialites, some of their changes were drastic. But unknowingly, I was growing up and changing too.
Lifestyle and mindset changes
Living in another country changed me fundamentally. Being thrown into an environment where constant adaptation is required, I found different parts of my personality being tested. I had to cast my ego aside for humility and determination instead. Many a time, I found determination to be my best friend as I worked through the night trying to finish academic projects and read up on lectures. Furthermore, humility taught me how respect from my peers should be earned not demanded.
New routines were also established. It was crucial to have a proper schedule so that I could achieve the maximum from my education overseas. I had to juggle between academics, extracurricular activity and household chores. While I managed to juggle academics and extracurricular activity skillfully as a junior college student, the addition of household chores required a period of adjusting. Cooking meals and cleaning the house sound simple when doing it once or twice as a kid at home. When they become a daily necessity, you start to understand why they are known as household chores rather than household activities.
My mindset changed too and I started to develop differing opinions from my friends back at home. Looking back, there is nothing wrong with that and it was one of the reasons why I was excited to pursue my education overseas. I wanted to evolve into something more mature, something different. More importantly, I wanted to push myself into an uncomfortable new environment and force myself into a new life.
Positivity
As time went by, adapting became a less daunting task and the advantages of pursuing an overseas education became apparent. For me, the positives were nothing like those featured in magazines and books I have read about studying abroad.
Rather than exploring the lifestyle that an education overseas can offer, I found myself deeply attracted to the wealth of knowledge that came with it. Over the past year, I attended a few medical conferences, where I saw how dynamic the field of medicine is. Therapies change frequently as new research is published every day. What is considered as the gold standard for treatment today can become obsolete in a matter of a few months. Hence, I felt that it was important for me to constantly update my medical knowledge so as to provide better care for my patients someday.
I also made many new friends whom I can rely on during my next few years away from Singapore. Some of them are overseas Singaporeans as well, and nothing feels better than having a uniquely Singaporean conversation about food! Others come from all over the world and are often keen to share their culture. These friends made my first year in Glasgow less daunting and even enjoyable. Looking back, I find it funny how I was worried about fitting in. Sometimes, not making a conscious effort to fit in hastens the process.
Being back in Singapore for the summer holidays, I realize that I am lucky to experience an education overseas. While the journey is fraught with difficulties, one year in Glasgow has made me more independent and determined. It has helped me discover my passion for learning and medicine. It has made me a better person.
I have a bittersweet relationship with my education overseas. While I look forward to my personal development overseas over the next few years, I know that I will eventually want to come back to settle down someday. After all, there is no place like Singapore where I can call home.
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